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Desiring God

What creates a motivation for God—to know Him more fully and to follow Him more completely? Is it blessings we receive? Or is it the discomfort of desperate circumstances? Or could it be a function of the time spent in spiritual disciplines? Or is it an undefinable work of the Holy Spirit?

The following is part of collection of my writing from a few years ago on the topic of God’s goodness and a few of my thoughts about desiring God.

It starts with a longing, a wistful awareness fanned by the wilderness watered by disasters fueled by losses and grows to a raging craving for You.


The pain in my hand and back pushed its way into my consciousness and pushed me away from sleep. I thought about life as it was meant to be--with Christ and pain eradicated.

In my heart, I spoke to God, “More than freedom from pain, I want to know You more deeply.”

"You've chosen the more difficult way," He seemed to say.

"I know."

I still hoped the pain would ease. Then I realized God had provided the pain, the very thing that led me to tell Him I wanted to know Him more deeply, even before I asked for it.

Before you asked, I answered before you cried, I came before you sighed, I sent you hope for before you were, I AM.


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