Just As I Am

“God loves you just the way you are. Right now. Today. Not the future you.” Our song leader’s words showered our congregation with truth. Familiar? Yes. But a truth we needed to hear, of God’s love for us—messy, mistaken, misguided.

Silently, I considered, If God loves me just the way I am, at this very moment, then I need to follow God’s example and love myself for who I am. I tucked those truths away in my mind, little realizing I would need them less than 24 hours later in the middle of a pit of panic.

My first book release was scheduled for the next day. But there was a problem. A problem, I hoped in my ignorance, would resolve on its own. I had spread the word about a free offer for my eBook on Facebook, through emails, in churches, and through word of mouth for the day of the release. Big mistake. I’ll skip the boring details, but the bottom line (and what I didn’t know then) is that the earliest Amazon will allow a promotion is a day after a release. That would be 24 hours too late for me.

It was 3:30 am the day of the book’s release when I discovered my mistake. Panic’s claws chained me. Darkness buried me. What would people think of me? Would this be the end of my writing career? Only three and a half hours into the day and I was a wreck.

Deep breath. One of the first truths I remembered was, “God loves me just the way I am.” Yes, I did something wrong, but it was a mistake. I would own it. I would make it right.

Six hours and countless prayers later, the situation was remedied. It seemed like a miracle. My body slowly recovered from panic mode. And I thanked God that He loves me just the way I am. Today. No matter what.