“Okay, I’ll stop arguing,” I decided. I’d had a running “debate” with two of my eye specialists—that is, we hadn’t seen eye-to-eye on issues.
Here’s how it would look. My cornea specialist would ask, “What kind of lubricant eye drops are you using?”
“Thera Tears, in the bottle,” I would reply.
“You really should use the single-use vials. They are sterile.”
“But the bottle says it’s sterile,” I point out.
“It’s really a marketing ploy. You can use them some, but if you use them too much it will actually dry your eyes more,” he informed me.
But see, I really like the bottles. They are easier to use and less expensive, I suspect.
After having this same conversation several times, I decide he knows what’s best. I start using the single-use vials. I wave the white flag.
Why is this so difficult for me? Why do I think I know better, even better than a cornea specialist?
Unfortunately, this drive for control isn’t confined to my medical treatment. It extends into my relationship with my husband. I question his handling of business decisions. In certain areas, I have difficulty trusting him. I’ll question him on something, then realize I need to stop, but, sadly, usually offer another “suggestion.” I know I need to wave the white flag. Should have done it right from the start. But it’s so hard.
I understand that this drive for control and basic mistrust extends into my relationship with God. It’s laughable that I would think I know better than God, but that’s basically what it comes down to. Still very much learning, I do realize I need to relinquish my rights and trust God. I need to keep my white flag close at hand and use it often. How about you?